Could Shared Housework Lead To Divorce?

Chore Sharing Leads To Divorce?

It seems to be common sense that sharing responsibility in a marriage would benefit the fulfillment and sustainability of the marriage. However, a recent study from Norway has showed that sharing housework can actually complicate marriages in ways that lead to divorce. Households who have divided chores have about a 50% higher likelihood of becoming divorced. Divorce is less likely when women primarily perform the household duties. The study theorizes one possible reason could be because the men do a poorer job of the tasks, and disappoint their wives who end up having to do more of the work.

Should my husband be doing more around the house?

To be clear, the study does not insist that household chores should not be shared between a husband and wife. There were a number of possible explanations for the findings, likely falling into scenarios of traditional roles, and men struggling more to properly execute household tasks that leads to their wives becoming disappointed in them. This comes from our traditional American way of life where the husband works full-time to provide for his family while his wife is a full-time homemaker. Clearly this is a way of life that is now largely in the past, but the traditional family roles still set the stage for many people’s expectations about life and what their marriage should be like. Whether or not this is right, it seems to have an impact on how people handle their marriages and problems as they arise.

If you are in a marriage with disputes and would like to talk to someone who can help you to understand what is appropriate grounds for concern, contact divorce attorney Tommy Davis.

Now Providing Free Consultation

Free Consultation

Due to the nature of my practice, it has been necessary to charge a nominal consultation fee before taking an in-office meeting to discuss the circumstances of divorce cases. While it is important to use discretion to make the most of my time (and therefore your time), we have created a system that allows me to provide complimentary consultation on the phone or with an in-office meeting prior to your hiring me for your case.

This generally begins with a phone conversation to verify your case can benefit from my services. If we establish that we can have a mutually beneficial attorney/client relationship, you will be provided a free consultation to discuss the details of your case.

Do you provide free consultation?

While I have arranged to be able to provide these complimentary consultation to potential clients, I still make certain to maintain the highest level of attention and dedication to each individual case. If you choose me to represent you in your divorce or family law case, rest assured you will be choosing one of Birmingham Alabama’s best and most well-respected divorce attorney.

Things To Consider When Hiring A Divorce Attorney

Hiring A Divorce Attorney

There are many factors to look at when hiring a divorce attorney. This list is just a few of the most important.

Attorney’s Experience

Needless to say it is helpful to have an attorney with experience handling divorce cases in your area. A divorce attorney with experience has experience with local judges and jurisdiction, and this knowledge will be used to your advantage in your case. A divorce attorney practices primarily only divorce law.

Communication Skills

Being able to communicate with your attorney is extremely important and, aside from outcome of the case, possibly the most important factor in whether or not a client is pleased with their choice of divorce attorney. You want your divorce attorney to be accessible by phone or email and available for meetings by request.

Attorney Fees

Different attorneys charge different consultation fees for a variety of reasons. Some attorneys will perform a free consultation while others must charge.

Comfort With the Attorney

Along with being easy to communicate, it is very important when hiring a divorce attorney you are comfortable your selection. Are you confident they will be able to perform and execute the necessary procedures? Your case is important enough to take time to be comfortable with your decision.

If you have any questions or are considering hiring a divorce attorney, contact Tommy Davis for a free consultation.

Dirty Tricks of Divorce Law

Dirty Tricks of Divorce Law

Divorce law does not have a reputation for playing clean. There are many dirty tricks lawyers and their clients attempt to perform, thankfully most of which will be identified and get the culprits in legal trouble. However, some tricks are not against the rules and may be a benefit to your case.

How can I help my divorce law case?

In one recent case, a client of a colleague in divorce law was having trouble getting her former husband to pay for the child’s expenses. The divorce attorney advised the client to make a photo book to take to the hearing of all the child’s extracurricular activities, such as sports, dances, hanging out with friends. Even add report cards and college brochures and turn it into a scrap book of your child’s life.

This translates to a guilt package. You can give a copy to your ex-spouse and his or her attorney. The dramatic effect of having a parent say they do not want to pay for these children’s activities is often enough to make an impact with the desired effect. While it seems mischievous, you are simply giving a gift! But whether these photos are used in mediation or at trial, it can be an effective method to get the other side to play ball in your divorce proceedings.

For further information about the best approach to your divorce law case, contact divorce attorney Tommy Davis.

Questions for Considering A Divorce

Considering A Divorce

If you are considering divorce, you have probably already had your mind in all directions and asked yourself many questions. These are some of the most important questions to ask when you are deciding.

Questions for Divorce

1) Do you still have romantic feelings for your spouse?

This seems like the most obvious question when considering staying in a relationship, but it is often overlooked. Even if frustrated with the other party, if you still have some feelings of love and affection, it may be worth working on the relationship before seeking a divorce.

2) Do you really want a divorce or just to threaten?

Sometimes in heated moments of anger, the word divorce is a powerful tool that can pierce through and be a sobering awareness to one or both parties. But this doesn’t mean either person necessarily wants a divorce. Sometimes it can take considering the possibility to realize whether or not it is right for you.

3) Was there a good marriage to begin with?

Not every marriage begins with a fairy tale. If your relationship developed based on practicality and simply two people that share a roof and bed but little more, divorce may be appropriate as you are not giving up very much.

4) What is your motivation for divorce?

Is the end result here a new life with a new partner or no partner where you see yourself much happier? If so, divorce may be a solution. If you are simply mentioning divorce in hopes your partner will change their attitude, you may not be interested in an actual divorce, just a change of dynamic in your relationship.

5) Is your desire for divorce based on emotional reactions or self-awareness?

An impulsive emotional reaction is not the key step to divorce. Someone who is truly ready has considered and let go of most emotional attachments to a spouse. This rarely comes easy, but when in the position you know its the right thing to do.

If you are considering divorce and would like more information about what kinds of questions you should be asking, contact divorce attorney Tommy Davis.

Divorce Red Flags for a Spouse

Divorce Red Flags
Divorce usually doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. There are usually many factors over time that lead to the final decision of divorce. Every marriage has its challenges, and none of these mean anything definite, but the following is a list of potential divorce red flags that may indicate your spouse is considering a divorce.

  • A sudden need for multiple bank accounts where you are not a co-signor
  • Changing trusted advisers like the family CPA to new faces
  • Hoarding cash
  • Ostensible generosity that gets you out of the picture
  • “Business trips” that were never previously taken
  • Flaunting new expenses like cars or jewelry
  • Undisclosed credit cards
  • Multiple cell phones
  • Irritability in answering reasonable questions
  • Newfound interested in password security for emails and finance

Is my spouse considering a divorce?
This is of course just a small list, and none of these items necessarily mean anything. But these are common indicators of a spouse considering divorce. If you notice your spouse displaying some of these behaviors, there is no need to panic. But if you notice several of these divorce red flags behaviors over a length of time, it might be worth engaging your partner for a discussion. It is often times good to ask questions about divorce and the state of the relationship and whether or not it is what both parties truly want.

If you are considering divorce or think your significant other might be, contact divorce attorney Tommy Davis.

Maintaining Privacy In Communication During Divorce

Privacy During Divorce
Even in an amicable divorce, it can be wise to keep your communication secure and private. This includes talking to a divorce attorney or anyone else with a topic related to divorce. Perhaps you have not yet informed your spouse you are considering divorce and would like to keep this information private until you make a decision.

How do I keep my privacy during a divorce?
If you contact a divorce lawyer or talk to a friend about a possible divorce, you will want to do this under a secure method your spouse will not have access to. This is not to be sneaky or malicious, simply cautious. Also remember that data from personal phones and Internet social network sites can often be used in court, so be sure to make good decisions when handling a divorce. If you have any questions about taking proper care in communication, contact divorce attorney Tommy Davis.

Talking to your children about divorce

Talking To Children About Divorce
Divorce is hard on everyone involved, but as anyone who has been through it knows it is especially hard on children. They often times do not understand the situation and have many questions about why. It is important to talk with your children about divorce and explain what is going on. Here are some pointers on how to make this conversation go as smoothly as possible.

  1. Talk to your children with your spouse. Have them understand you are still united as a family.
  2. Make sure the child understands the divorce is in no way related to them. Be certain they do not feel any fault.
  3. Do not blame the significant other or anyone else. There are reasons, not faults.
  4. Allow the children to ask questions so they do not feel left in the dark or like something is being hidden from them

How do I talk to my children about divorce?
Though the conversation will still be a difficult one, following these guidelines can help make the conversation easier for your children and you as well. If you are looking at a divorce in Alabama and need further information or support, please contact divorce attorney Tommy Davis.

How Divorce in Alabama Works

Divorce in Alabama
The goal of this blog is to share information about divorce, particularly divorce in Alabama, and the best ways to go about hiring a divorce attorney for your circumstances. While it is best to contact a divorce lawyer as soon as possible, it can help you to know some basic information about getting a divorce in Alabama.

What are grounds for divorce in Alabama?
There are a number of possible reasons considered grounds for divorce in Alabama. Incompatibility and irretrievable breakdown of the marriage have become the most common. Other potential reasons include physical and incurable incapacity to enter into marriage, physical violence, adultery, voluntary abandonment for one year, imprisonment, conviction of a crime after marriage, habitual drug use, or confinement to a mental hospital. A husband may also divorce a wife if she is pregnant at the time of marriage without the husband’s knowledge. After determining grounds for divorce, a spouse must file a Complaint for Divorce in which the plaintiff must prove by testimony, either orally or in writing, one of these circumstances to be the case. When you contact a divorce attorney in Birmingham Alabama, they will discuss these matters with you and file the requisite legal documents based on the information you provide.

Determining grounds for divorce is a preliminary step, but there are other criteria to confirm if you are able to get a divorce in Alabama. In future articles, we will discuss residency requirements to receive a divorce in Alabama, and other specific factors necessary to know.

If you are an Alabama resident facing divorce, it may be best to go ahead and contact a Birmingham Alabama divorce lawyer sooner than later. Finding a divorce attorney in Alabama will put you in a better position to move forward whatever you end up deciding to do in your marriage.

How To Rebuild After Divorce

Rebuild After Divorce
People plan for retirement. They don’t generally plan for divorce. So naturally the unplanned divorce can interfere with your plans for retirement, but you can be prepared to rebuild after divorce.

While this can be a concern, there are steps you can take to alleviate the damage to your finances and retirement plans. First off, it is best to focus on the pension over the house or car. Your previous vision of retirement likely involved your spouse. However, after your marriage status changes, you will not be saving the same way as you did while in the marriage. A recent ING study found divorced individuals had an average of $10,000 less in retirement savings than married individuals 5 years younger. Women in particular struggle in these circumstances, with their household income dropping significantly more than the average for men in these situations.

How do I rebuild after divorce?
It is important to keep focus on your pension plan or 401(k) after splitting your assets. It is likely a better long-term investment. Sometimes it is even best to sell the house and split the equity. While you might be inexperienced in investing, starting simple and getting help from professional services can put you on the right track to take charge of your financial future.

Should you remarry, you can keep this money separate but must disclose the information. Prenuptial agreements are common in second marriages, but you can still be working towards mutual goals with your new spouse.

So take care of what needs to be done in the short-term for your life, your partner, and your children. But keep focus on the future and your long-term financial plans so you are able to manage your retirement with ease.